Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thoughts

Someone implied to me that my being upset about the Chapman's situation was rather "silly" because I don't really know them. That person obviously doesn't know me very well. Music is more than something I have on in the background when I'm cleaning the house. Music is how God talks to me. Music is how I express my emotions. I wish for anything that I could write songs that express my feelings, but I can't, so I find ones that do and I embrace them and they calm me or they drive me or the make me laugh or... I guess I can't explain it in words that someone who doesn't have the same relationship to music would understand. I've been listening to SCC since 1988 or 89? And it all started by accident. I was looking for this song called "Said and Done" and someone said he had done the song. Well, I bought the tape (it was in a blue case - anyone remember those days?) and it turned out to not be the song I was looking for, but I fell in love with SCC. I bought ever single album he put out (Amy Grants the only other person I can say that about). It seemed he ALWAYS had a song that spoke exactly what I was feeling.When I was a freshman in college he came to Bethel. We had front row seats. He told us about his little tiny baby - Will Franklin - and how he had been born early just 3 weeks prior to that concert, and how things had been a little touch and go and we prayed for little Will Franklin that night. I went to many more of his concerts where he was always sharing little anecdotes about his kids. I read lots of articles about the family and was excited for them when they began adopting. So no, I don't KNOW them personally, but I know them. And I have a 5-year-old little girl (almost the exact same age as little Maria), and I can't imagine the pain of her not being in my life. I can't imagine the pain of trying to deal with your own grief while trying to minister to your son who was behind the wheel when this happened. I can't imagine trying to help your other children deal with the horror of witnessing the accident. I can't imagine trying to help your oldest daughter go through the highest moment in her life (getting engaged last weekend) and the lowest within the span of just a couple days. I can't imagine trying to celebrate your sons hard work in graduating from high school while trying to deal with all this other pain. So my heart is broken for them. I ache for them. And I hug my babies.... tight. And I cry... because it hurts. And that's who I am